Comments on: Welcoming New Babies Into Our Relationships and Family http://pregnancyawareness.com/2011/02/welcoming-new-babies-into-our-relationships-and-family/ Fri, 31 Aug 2012 06:36:15 +0200 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Rhona Berens (Parent Alliance) http://pregnancyawareness.com/2011/02/welcoming-new-babies-into-our-relationships-and-family/comment-page-1/#comment-4009 Rhona Berens (Parent Alliance) Thu, 10 Feb 2011 17:57:16 +0000 http://pregnancyawareness.com/?p=1710#comment-4009 Thanks so much for your comment--and honesty!--Dari, about the potential impact of having a baby on your relationship with your spouse. While none of us can predict exactly how our relationships will shift, grow, or contract after we have children, we can prepare for (more abstract) change by talking to our beloveds about what we love about our lives and relationships as they've been (yes, Myth Change). Also, just being aware that change is afoot, and being compassionate with each other as you navigate the process of becoming new parents (and new parents in relationship with each other) can help a lot. If you're interested in reading a great book on how to help our relationships transition into parenthood, I highly recommend John Gottman's And Baby Makes Three. If you want a quick read, check out my post on limiting relationship stress after babies arrive at: http://wp.me/pZuta-64. Thanks so much for your comment–and honesty!–Dari, about the potential impact of having a baby on your relationship with your spouse. While none of us can predict exactly how our relationships will shift, grow, or contract after we have children, we can prepare for (more abstract) change by talking to our beloveds about what we love about our lives and relationships as they’ve been (yes, Myth Change). Also, just being aware that change is afoot, and being compassionate with each other as you navigate the process of becoming new parents (and new parents in relationship with each other) can help a lot. If you’re interested in reading a great book on how to help our relationships transition into parenthood, I highly recommend John Gottman’s And Baby Makes Three. If you want a quick read, check out my post on limiting relationship stress after babies arrive at: http://wp.me/pZuta-64.

]]> By: Tweets that mention Pregnancy Awareness » Blog Archive » Welcoming New Babies Into Our Relationships and Family -- Topsy.com http://pregnancyawareness.com/2011/02/welcoming-new-babies-into-our-relationships-and-family/comment-page-1/#comment-3990 Tweets that mention Pregnancy Awareness » Blog Archive » Welcoming New Babies Into Our Relationships and Family -- Topsy.com Thu, 10 Feb 2011 01:46:49 +0000 http://pregnancyawareness.com/?p=1710#comment-3990 [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rhona Berens, PhD, Rhona Berens, PhD. Rhona Berens, PhD said: Check out our post about welcoming new babies into our relationships and our family on Pregnancy Awareness: http://bit.ly/gVD968. [...] [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rhona Berens, PhD, Rhona Berens, PhD. Rhona Berens, PhD said: Check out our post about welcoming new babies into our relationships and our family on Pregnancy Awareness: http://bit.ly/gVD968. [...]

]]> By: Diar http://pregnancyawareness.com/2011/02/welcoming-new-babies-into-our-relationships-and-family/comment-page-1/#comment-3961 Diar Wed, 09 Feb 2011 08:28:37 +0000 http://pregnancyawareness.com/?p=1710#comment-3961 My husband and I are expecting for our first, and since day one of my pregnancy, I've been kind of worried about how our relationship as a couple would change (or transition) after the baby's arrival. I suppose the Myth Change questions above are appropriate to get us prepared. Thanks for sharing :) My husband and I are expecting for our first, and since day one of my pregnancy, I’ve been kind of worried about how our relationship as a couple would change (or transition) after the baby’s arrival. I suppose the Myth Change questions above are appropriate to get us prepared. Thanks for sharing :)

]]> By: Rhona Berens (Parent Alliance) http://pregnancyawareness.com/2011/02/welcoming-new-babies-into-our-relationships-and-family/comment-page-1/#comment-3794 Rhona Berens (Parent Alliance) Fri, 04 Feb 2011 00:10:19 +0000 http://pregnancyawareness.com/?p=1710#comment-3794 I couldn't agree with you more, Stacey, about the importance of moms integrating dads in baby care ASAP, about moms taking time to care for ourselves, about embracing our roles as parents as soon as possible, and about doing our best to NOT romanticize the past. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights, especially given what a seasoned mom you are! Perhaps, if we become parents young we do, indeed, have less of a past to mourn, as you suggest; whatever our age when we have babies, letting go of what-was remains an important exercise in making more "internal" room for embracing what-is, both in terms of our personal identities as women, and also in terms of how we co-parent with, and experience our newly transformed relationships with our spouses. To be honest, I'm a big fan of asking the Myth Change questions of ourselves and, if appropriate, our beloveds, for pretty much any major change in our lives, again, NOT to hold on to the past, but to ease our transition from the past into a present and future that are altered in important ways. I couldn’t agree with you more, Stacey, about the importance of moms integrating dads in baby care ASAP, about moms taking time to care for ourselves, about embracing our roles as parents as soon as possible, and about doing our best to NOT romanticize the past. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights, especially given what a seasoned mom you are! Perhaps, if we become parents young we do, indeed, have less of a past to mourn, as you suggest; whatever our age when we have babies, letting go of what-was remains an important exercise in making more “internal” room for embracing what-is, both in terms of our personal identities as women, and also in terms of how we co-parent with, and experience our newly transformed relationships with our spouses. To be honest, I’m a big fan of asking the Myth Change questions of ourselves and, if appropriate, our beloveds, for pretty much any major change in our lives, again, NOT to hold on to the past, but to ease our transition from the past into a present and future that are altered in important ways.

]]> By: Stacey http://pregnancyawareness.com/2011/02/welcoming-new-babies-into-our-relationships-and-family/comment-page-1/#comment-3785 Stacey Thu, 03 Feb 2011 15:21:22 +0000 http://pregnancyawareness.com/?p=1710#comment-3785 I suppose one of the benefits of marrying young and starting a family right away is that I had a shorter amount of time of freedom to mourn. Parenting is such a give and take. The sooner you, as a mother, recognize how well your spouse can assist in taking care of baby the better. Most women I know are so reluctant to ever leave baby with Dad that they never get out and take care of themselves. Whether you work or stay home, taking care of mom is one of the most important things you can do. I agree that it's ok to wish for the past, but don't romanticize it. It was good, but life with family is ultimately more fulfilling. Take time to go out with girlfriends, sure, but be glad you can come home to little ones who call you mom. If you spend too much time wishing for the past, you'll wake up one day and your little ones will be grown. I am a SAHM expecting baby #7 in May. I suppose one of the benefits of marrying young and starting a family right away is that I had a shorter amount of time of freedom to mourn.

Parenting is such a give and take. The sooner you, as a mother, recognize how well your spouse can assist in taking care of baby the better. Most women I know are so reluctant to ever leave baby with Dad that they never get out and take care of themselves. Whether you work or stay home, taking care of mom is one of the most important things you can do. I agree that it’s ok to wish for the past, but don’t romanticize it. It was good, but life with family is ultimately more fulfilling. Take time to go out with girlfriends, sure, but be glad you can come home to little ones who call you mom. If you spend too much time wishing for the past, you’ll wake up one day and your little ones will be grown.

I am a SAHM expecting baby #7 in May.

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