We are still focusing on dad’s this month. And here is a tip from my hubby, who walked into being a full time dad, at the peak of his career. He was the youngest in his family and had never held a baby until our newborn daughter was in his arms. He travels for work all the time, it is part of our reality as he is a freelancer. Sometimes he gets notice of needing to fly to a city across the country with only 2 days notice.
“Make the time to be a dad.” he says. “So even if you are busy with work, and the responsibility of being the breadwinner becomes so intense after the baby is born. It is like your instinct as the dad is about earning for your baby and partner, they seem so vulnerable. But leaving them does have a price too. “
I have witnessed my hubby make the most of Skype, and he sends images of himself working to my daughter throughout the day that I let her see. So there is a connection. This isn’t necessary only if they are on a business trip mom’s! And he is the one that when he is home gets on his knees to play with her. Their play is a much more physical and rough housing variety, and it is fantastic. I know it sounds dreadfully old fashioned in the roles right? But that is how it has played out at our house, and it works, what is it like for you?
I have read numerous FB posts and received comments from PAM viewers and friends who ask me about bedtime for baby and toddler, when their partner gets home at 7 or later. Obviously this is a personal choice. I do believe that sleep is crucial for babies and young children, and that most experts agree that rhythm with sleep time is the key to its success. Those little brains need 12 hours of sleep once they go thru the night, so if you have an early riser, that could mean they need to go down at 6pm. How to do that when one of you doesn’t get home from work until after 6 0r 7? Again, your call, and I suggest you both do some reading on the subject and discuss it. What we did when I had to go back to work was we made the most of the early morning, and we had family breakfast instead of dinner. And I would spend my quality time with her in the morning. That is just one idea.
I know it sounds cliche, but this is really a short time in all of your lives…and before you know it, it is truly over. So the biggest tip from my hubby comes from a Harry Chapin song, which is about slowing down dad. When you can. And spend the 5 minutes or 15 minutes with your baby or young one, listening to them do their little something something. It will take less time than you think, and will mean the world to both of you in the moment and later on.
“And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon. When you coming home daddy, don’t know when, but we’ll get together then…”
Alisa B. Donner, MSW, LCSW Co-Founder of Pregnancy Awareness Month, and mom to a magnificent wonder.
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**REMINDER – Pregnancy Awareness Month’s blog post is for moms and expectant parents by moms (and of course some experts sprinkled in – and some mom’s are licensed board certified experts!). HOWEVER, we are not giving blanket ADVICE on what you should be doing, eating, how you should be exercising, parenting, etc. These are opinions, food for thought….think about it all, talk with your mate, and when it comes to diet, exercise, and health questions, ALWAYS discuss and seek advice from your medical health provider.