How true this is!

I am writing this post in response to a request from my friend Alisa Donner, co-founder of Pregnancy Awareness Month (PAM). Clearly, I am NOT a mom, though, perhaps, close. I’ve been a full-time single dad for five years – raising my now 13-year-old daughter Meryl Fé, while being the sole bread-winner. So I can relate to cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, consoling, corralling, home-work coaching etc…all while building a business, making a living and trying to make a difference.

The purpose of this post (and the two that will follow) is to acknowledge and celebrate the role of moms in general and working moms in particular, and ideally to support and inspire moms who have recently returned to “outside work” or are about to do so.

Circumstances

When we return to outside work (that is, work other than that of parenting and related household work) – whether it requires that we leave home or work from home – we are coming out of a deep immersion in another experience. Here are a few of the elements of this domain.

•  Baby Brain: We used to refer to the mind state that emerges through focusing on and connecting with the baby as Baby Brain. It is a distinctly different orientation that focusing on and connecting with adults. And it requires or evokes a different and, I propose, deeper level of immersion, even absorption.
• Sleepus interruptus: OK, if you’ve been there, it requires no explanation. This condition can be accompanied by: Physical, metal emotional exhaustion. A sense of desperation. Hallucinations.
• Strong Attachment: Clearly, the attachment with and to our babies does not begin and end with the umbilical cord. It deepens and strengthens in many ways beyond the physical dependency and “supply” of the womb and early nursing and nurturing. As our babies’ senses and capacities are activated and we increasingly engage with each other through multiple channels, our attachment deepens.
• Nature’s Pace (or Babies’ Pace) versus Machine’s Pace (or Organization’s Pace or Money’s Pace): Nature’s Pace includes responding to cries for food, resting together during cycles of growth and integration and being present for emerging needs and developments. The other pace is often more arbitrary, contrived and counter to our own natural rhythms, not to mention those of our babies and young children.

In the next post in this three-part series, I will explore the idea of Mom’s Creating Value.

Resources:

Momsrising.org

Strollerstrides.com

Pregnancyawarenessmonth.com

Jeff Klein is CEO of Working for Good, a company that activates, produces and facilitates mission-based, Stakeholder Engagement Marketing™ campaigns and Conscious Culture development programs.

Jeff is a trustee and member of the executive committee of Conscious Capitalism, Inc. and authored the award-winning book, Working for Good: Making a Difference While Making a Living. He is producing Being Human 2012, on March 24, 2012 in San Francisco.

Jeff contributed a piece entitled “Growing Together – A Father’s Story” in Ordinary Men, Extraordinary Lives: Defining Moments – Men’s Anthology

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What is a birthing plan? The internet has sample documents to peruse.  Simply put, it is a document that clearly outlines how you want your labor day to unfold, and who you want to be there.  The word “want” is strategically utilized here.  Why?  Because it is labor, it is birth, it is an organic experience that is completely unpredictable, with one exception: your baby will be born that day.  How? Where? With complications to your or the baby? Only time will truly tell, but you can envision, plan, discuss with your partner, your medical provider, your doula, and do your best to steer it in the direction that meets your values and desires.  This is the template your birthing team will use, so make sure they understand it.

Before you write it, talk and read.  Ask questions to friends, medical folk, your mom, and other women that have birthed. Allow yourself to think through all aspects of your birthing day.  Fully visualize the ultimate outcome.  Prepare for any changes, which might occur. Now is the time to discuss and plan with your birth team.  It is better to prepare for potential shifts and know what your Plan B, C, and D is instead of needing to make a decision in a moment of shock.  Do not feel that by thinking some of this through ahead of time, with your partner, and discussing the full range of possibilities with your medical provider that you are jinxing your labor day.  You are NOT!  You are actually taking a major step into becoming a parent, which is a constant state of decision-making: requiring choices to be made several times each day, that take into account yourself, your baby, and your family.

Write it out in as simple a format as possible. Share it with your medical provider, in person, a good month ahead of time.  Mail in a copy with your hospital pre-registration forms.

A birthing plan for the hospital takes a slightly different function than the one you use at home births or at birthing centers.  There will be nurses assigned to your birth team at the hospital that you have never met before, that do not know what you have been hoping for.  Depending on how long your birth takes, there may even be a change of shift, where the original nurse assigned to you leaves and is replaced by someone new.  This tool is to make sure that they understand your plan, and that your handpicked team members can communicate to the hospital staff with you.

Be clear. Be concise. Have your partner bring a copy to the hospital separate from the several copies in the folder that you bring.  Have your doula bring a copy.  Share a copy with the charge nurse and the nurse assigned to your room.

Why do you need to be explicit about what happens with the baby post delivery?  First of all, you will be tired, very tired.  Also, in the event that you are recovering from a c-section or other unanticipated medical intervention, the clarity of the written word will provide the direction that you may not be available to verbally remind or express at that time.

You have the right to create this plan.  It will be as individual as you are.  No birth plan is wrong.  It is a personal choice put in motion.  Congratulations on stepping into this journey.

Alisa Donner, MSW, LCSW, Mom and Co-founder Pregnancy Awareness Month®

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How it all started…
A baby’s sleep schedule is arguably the most important factor for a balanced, happy family.  Most parents are taught about the comfort and benefits achieved from Swaddling, which has been practiced for hundreds of years. What we don’t know from the get-go is what a pain in the butt it can be. Wrapping baby. Rewrapping baby. Wrapping baby. Rewrapping baby…on and on and on it goes, all night long.
Our little Bella came five weeks early.  Due to her super startle reflex paired with mighty-mouse strength, she unraveled herself within 15 minutes…ALL NIGHT LONG. I found Bella time and time again with the swaddle blanket unwrapped and up over her face making her hot and red – very scary to say the least.

We tried every swaddle we could find; even the ones with Velcro – nothing worked.  I searched every store and website for a swaddle that would stay put, but found nothing.  What frustration….this effected everyone in our home and was both emotionally and physically draining.

Innovative thinking to solve a problem…

Clearly there was a need for a different solution.  With my RN background, mom determination and okay sewing skills, one sleepless night, I took out my grandmother’s sewing machine and created the first Woombie.  I needed something that would stay intact and snug, but at the same time, allow Bella to stretch if needed, where the fabric would then automatically re-conform to a snug cocoon-like peanut shape afterwards. I sewed and sewed until Bella was gently “contained.”  No “arms pinned to the side swaddle”- a stretchy but effective peanut shape that imitated the womb.  Low and behold it worked!  Bella loved it and started sleeping better right away.

Bella in our first prototype

After a month of prototyping, the Woombie was born. After further testing and research, our product was launched nationally December of 2007, and Worldwide in late 2008.


A typical morning in the Barksi home…

Between 1:00am – 3:00am, all three little ones make way to our bedroom and sneak into whatever spot they can find on the bed.

This is how each day starts…six or so hours of being elbowed, cuddled and/or kicked in the face.

6:30am: Morgan (17) begins her day and is off to High School (College in the Fall!).

7:00am: Kaia (10) gets up and prepares for school independently.

By 8:00am, Bella (5) along with the twins Bryce (3.5) and Brody (3.5) make way downstairs demanding breakfast.

My husband and I cross over each other in the kitchen getting one child a yogurt while the other two want pancakes.  Good nutrition is essential before they start their day of exploring, learning, playing and growing.
I answer emails between all of this, mostly with the Woombie manufacturer having production/design questions.

I make coffee, tea, and green juice.  Then off to work with Buddha (bulldog-shitsu) and FiFi (poodle-shitsu).

Carolina, our AuPair, takes the kids over at this point, getting the three little ones to preschool by noon.

Stash is off to his office for the day.

For me it’s to the warehouse and office to monitor logistics, art, graphics, inventory, web stats, following up on calls…the day to day duties of business.

Then onto spreadsheets, invoicing, more calls and emails, trade show plans and booth designing - and whatever else pops up…

And this is all before noon!
“It’s a crazy life, but it’s our life.”

From left to right: Bryce, Morgan, Bella, Karen, Kaia, Brody and Stash

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That got us through that night, but the longer term solution involved researching and reading about humidifiers, vaporizers, nostril aspirators, saline drops, homeopathy, dietary changes, you name it!  Over the counter decongestants: there is a lot of debate out there about when they are effective, the FDA says not to use under the age of 4.  Dr. Alan Greene identifies potential side effects: sleeplessness, drowsiness, irritability, increased blood pressure.  We recommend speaking with your pediatrician or medical provider BEFORE purchasing any OTC.  And if you have an infant with a fever of any type, contact your medical provider and discuss.  Pretty much all the research agrees: moisture or humidity can soothe the symptoms of colds and stuffy noses.

Our first purchase was a vaporizer, and it worked great, except: 

• incredibly difficult to clean
• the room required airing out afterwards; it produced a lot of moisture.
• mist created by boiling water, the unit itself becomes hot, so if you have a toddler that is crawling = burn risk.
• you can add essential oils into the machine (mine required to add salt).

We moved onto humidifiers a more sophisticated machine, yet also puts moisture in the air without boiling water.  Some have a cool mist or a hot mist option.  Moisture is moisture, and the temperature doesn’t matter.  Don’t add any substance to this type of machine, just plain water.

FAQ: 

• Sitting water can breed bacteria.
• Change the water. (Modern humidifiers like Crane’s, have smaller tanks that don’t allow water to store for more than 2 days. They also have auto shut-off in the event the water runs too low for the motor, not something my vaporizer had, and I admit to burning out more than one motor!)
• Don’t forget to change the basin! (There is a basin under the tank where water collects.  Change at the same time you change the water tank.  It requires that you unplug the machine, but do it, bacteria may cause other illnesses, and the whole point of using a moisture adding machine is to reduce illness and symptoms!)

As Katie Sotor of Crane-USA says, “It’s still water folks!  So regardless of the machine, or if it has the anti-microbial protection, change the water every 2 days.”  She also recommends disinfecting it every 7 days with a tank full of water and 2-3 caps of vinegar, don’t turn it on, just let it sit for a good 30 minutes.

Using moisture in the air while you sleep is a great non-medical option for infants, young children, and adults.  So if you are pregnant or nursing and want to reduce the symptoms of a cold or reduce the potential of getting one, consider it.  And saline drops in the nose whether stuffy or as a preventive can be very helpful.

Alisa Donner, MSW, LCSW, Co-Founder, Pregnancy Awareness Month®

This is not meant as medical advice – consult with your medical provider as needed.

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Salt Dough Ornaments

• 2 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for rolling the dough
• 1 cup salt
• 1 cup water
• Rolling pin
• Cookie cutters (various shapes and sizes)
• Cookie sheet
• Toothpick
• Used yarn or ribbon, cut in 3- to 4-inch lengths
• Nontoxic glue (optional)
• Gold and silver glitter (optional)

1. Preheat the oven to 250°F.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour and salt. Add the water and stir until the dough is well blended, until no traces of flour remain.

3. Knead the dough on a flat surface until smooth, about 8 to 10 minutes. Do not let the dough get too rubbery.

4. On a floured surface, roll out the dough until it’s about 1/4 inch thick. Using the cookie cutters, cut out shapes and place them on an ungreased cookie sheet. Use the toothpick to make a hole at the top of each ornament, large enough for the yarn or ribbon to fit through and bake for 2 hours.

5.When the ornaments are done, let them cool, slip a piece of yarn or ribbon through each hole, and knot.

6.If you like, draw glue designs on the ornaments and then cover them with glitter. Allow them to dry, then shake off the glitter.

Anna Getty, Founder Pregnancy Awareness Month, author, cook, educator, and mother

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Alisa Donner & Anna Getty, Co-founders of Pregnancy Awareness Month (P.A.M.)

Last Thanksgiving I announced a bold campaign, spearheaded by an amazing band of volunteers, to upgrade babies’ first foods to real foods – and babies’ first grains to whole grains – and to do this in 2011.

It’s November, and we still have a ways to go, but we also have an exciting reason to celebrate!

Over 10,000 physicians, mostly pediatricians, took part in a July/August 2011 survey by Medscape.com that demonstrated an historic shift in their feeding recommendations this year. The first question in the survey was “What do you recommend for baby’s first food (check all that apply)?” The options were white rice cereal, whole grain cereal, a vegetable, a fruit, egg yolk, meat, or other. Of those who answered as of August 31, the number one choice was white rice cereal – garnering nearly twice as many votes as the next most common.

But after reading an article about WhiteOut Now, our public service campaign the survey results were strikingly different.

Responding to,” What will you recommend for baby’s first food (check all that apply)” only 3% even included white rice cereal among their recommended choices. Physicians were also asked, “Do you think white rice cereal is the best choice for baby’s first food?” About 3% of those who responded had “No opinion” and an overwhelming 93% responded, “No.”

As of now over 12,000 physicians have taken part in the survey, and the change continues to spread. To me this major reversal suggests that the old white rice cereal recommendations were based on well-meaning habit rather than on science or even on careful consideration. When asked to reconsider, an overwhelming majority of physicians were quickly able to see advantages of abandoning the old recommendation.

Evidence is mounting that changing early feeding habits is critical to reversing the childhood obesity epidemic. This stunning survey suggests that first feedings are poised to change. A reason to be thankful indeed!

Alan Greene, MD, FAAP

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Four Amazing Prizes and Four Winners!

We’ve partnered with Blanqi, Buggy Love, Baby Bullet and Becoming Baby to bring you the most awesome must-attend Twitter party this season.

THURSDAY DECEMBER 15th

7pm PST, 10pm EST

Follow us @PregAwareness

Hashtag #MayPAM

Follow our guests:

@BuggyLoveCo @becomingbaby @thebabybullet and @BLANQIgirls

TweetGrid: http://is.gd/BkpnGP

No RSVP Required

If you’re new to Twitter parties, check this out….

Here is the video we have posted on Facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/PregnancyAwareness?sk=videos

Here’s the Post on our website
http://pregnancyawareness.com/2010/05/how-to-attend-a-twitter-party/

 ****************************************

Questions for the Party:

TO BE ANNOUNCED

****************************************

 Prize One:

BuggyLOVE is the brand new and only organic cleaning kit out to provide happy parents with a product to pamper their newest little ones and their thrones on-the-go. Baby carriages are often overlooked when it comes to regular maintenance and care even though babies spend almost as much time in them as in the nursery. Create a pampered atmosphere while ensuring the longevity of the stroller by using BuggyLOVE’s 4 piece kit for cleaning, polishing, and making the ride as smooth as possible.

November 2011 has certainly seen some love for the brand. BuggyLOVE officially launched nationwide at Buy Buy Baby this month, was part of the Big City Moms Biggest Baby Shower at the Met Pavilion in NYC and rumor has it, BuggyLOVE is the registry item of 2012.

Like Buggy Love: https://www.facebook.com/buggylove, Follow Buggy Love http://twitter.com/#!/BuggyLoveCo

****************************************

Prize Two:

We’re proud to have Baby Bullet in on this weeks giveaway.

They’re giving away:

Baby Bullet Feeding System, Baby Bullet Turbo Steamer, and Baby Bullet Deluxe Cookbook, a total retail value of nearly $110

Like Baby Bullet: facebook.com/thebabybullet

****************************************

Prize Three:

Inspired by our own needs for style and function during pregnancy, we set out to design a high-fashion, high-performance support garment that makes the incredible life-changing experience of being pregnant easier. By fusing fashion with highly technical construction, patent-pending BLANQI Body Stylers seamlessly smooth, support your back, lift your belly and secure unbuttoned pre-pregnancy bottoms or snug up loose maternity bottoms! Extremely versatile, the moisture wicking finish keeps you cool and dry, making it the ideal layering tank or worn alone while working out! Look stunning and feel amazing pregnant. xo Sabina and Valerie

Like Blanqi: https://www.facebook.com/BLANQIbodystylers, Follow Blanqi at http://twitter.com/BLANQIgirls

****************************************

Prize Four:

Becoming Baby is a natural baby skincare line developed by a pediatrician mother with no harsh chemicals, unnecessary ingredients or fragrances. What your baby’s skin needs, and nothing else!

Giveaway includes:

- Gentle Foaming Baby Wash
- Simple Soothing Baby Lotion
- Baby Nourishing Body Oil
- Petroleum-free Jelly Balm
and we’ll wrap it all up with a Becoming Baby hooded baby bath towel.

Retail value $60

Like Becoming Baby at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Becoming-Baby/, Follow Becoming Baby http://twitter.com/becomingbaby

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Four Amazing Prizes and Four Winners!

We’ve partnered with Blanqi, Buggy Love, Baby Bullet and Becoming Baby to bring you some of the HOTTEST pregnancy gifts this season. Be sure to enter the contest on Facebook, Twitter and on our website by clicking the links below. Also, don’t forget, if you retweet your entry code you get a bonus entry for EVERY person that enters through your link!

Enter on Facebook: http://apps.facebook.com/sweepstakeshq/contests/178180

Enter on Twitter: http://promoshq.wildfireapp.com/twitter/233/contests/178180

Enter on our website by clicking on the orange bar at the bottom of the screen.

Winners will be chosen on December 9th at 6pm EST.

 ****************************************

 Prize One:

BuggyLOVE is the brand new and only organic cleaning kit out to provide happy parents with a product to pamper their newest little ones and their thrones on-the-go. Baby carriages are often overlooked when it comes to regular maintenance and care even though babies spend almost as much time in them as in the nursery. Create a pampered atmosphere while ensuring the longevity of the stroller by using BuggyLOVE’s 4 piece kit for cleaning, polishing, and making the ride as smooth as possible.

November 2011 has certainly seen some love for the brand. BuggyLOVE officially launched nationwide at Buy Buy Baby this month, was part of the Big City Moms Biggest Baby Shower at the Met Pavilion in NYC and rumor has it, BuggyLOVE is the registry item of 2012.

Like Buggy Love: https://www.facebook.com/buggylove, Follow Buggy Love http://twitter.com/#!/BuggyLoveCo

 ****************************************

Prize Two:

We’re proud to have Baby Bullet in on this weeks giveaway.

They’re giving away:

Baby Bullet Feeding System, Baby Bullet Turbo Steamer, and Baby Bullet Deluxe Cookbook, a total retail value of nearly $110

Like Baby Bullet: facebook.com/thebabybullet

 ****************************************

Prize Three:

Inspired by our own needs for style and function during pregnancy, we set out to design a high-fashion, high-performance support garment that makes the incredible life-changing experience of being pregnant easier. By fusing fashion with highly technical construction, patent-pending BLANQI Body Stylers seamlessly smooth, support your back, lift your belly and secure unbuttoned pre-pregnancy bottoms or snug up loose maternity bottoms! Extremely versatile, the moisture wicking finish keeps you cool and dry, making it the ideal layering tank or worn alone while working out! Look stunning and feel amazing pregnant. xo Sabina and Valerie

Like Blanqi: https://www.facebook.com/BLANQIbodystylers, Follow Blanqi at http://twitter.com/BLANQIgirls

 ****************************************

Prize Four:

Becoming Baby is a natural baby skincare line developed by a pediatrician mother with no harsh chemicals, unnecessary ingredients or fragrances. What your baby’s skin needs, and nothing else!

 Giveaway includes:

- Gentle Foaming Baby Wash
- Simple Soothing Baby Lotion
- Baby Nourishing Body Oil
- Petroleum-free Jelly Balm
and we’ll wrap it all up with a Becoming Baby hooded baby bath towel.

Retail value $60

Like Becoming Baby at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Becoming-Baby/, Follow Becoming Baby http://twitter.com/becomingbaby

  ****************************************

 Entry:

The links to enter into this contest are posted at the top of this post. You can also enter here on our website by clicking on the orange bar at the bottom of this website.

How it works:

If you enter into this contest you are entered to win any one of these items. We will choose four winners via the third party contest system you will use to enter. We will announce what we are drawing for on FB and Twitter and then follow up the post with the winner of that item. For more information, ask us questions on FB.

Rules:

You may enter on our website, twitter and facebook via the app links we have provided. We will email you at the email address you provided when you entered the contest. We require that you respond to your email within 7 days in order to claim your prize.

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Diapers. “No, honey, I changed the last one. It’s your turn.” Why do diapers ignite such feels of duress and intimidation? Maybe it’s the screaming baby, kicking their tiny feet. Or does it have to do with the surprise lurking under those cute onesies? Alas, The Diaper Guru is here to teach you that diapers don’t have to be intimidating.

Perhaps my owning a diaper service and seeing thousands of dirties coming through each week, have numbed me of the diaper dread. But my thought is- why not have fun with them? Yes, there will be changes that will challenge your gag reflexes, but as baby gets older, those get fewer and fewer.

While teaching new moms in my diapering seminars, one of the most common questions is, “How many diapers do babies go through?” To be on the safe side, expect during the first few sleep-deprived weeks to change between eight to ten A DAY!!! Yes, I said per day. Don’t believe me, see for yourself. Your doctor will most likely want you to keep a 24-hour log of feedings and eliminations. Don’t worry though, as the weeks go by (and they do quickly) you will have fewer changes and after a few months you’ll be able to count on one hand the number of changes during the day.

According to WebMD {http://www.webmd.com/parenting/tc/toilet-training-topic-overview}, the average age of potty training is about 37 months. That’s a lot of time and a lot of changes. Do that math and you’ll discover that comes to about 8000 diaper changes during infancy. Why not try to make this time fun? Why dread the two minutes while you and your baby get to spend time together during each change? One day, you’ll be missing these precious moments and wanting to kiss their little feet, even if that means you’d have to change the dirty diaper that is sure to come with it!

Next month: Turning the quantity of diaper changes into quality time with baby.

THE DIAPER GURU is a monthly Pregnancy Awareness Month column written by Laura Gately of Blessed Bums Organic Diaper Service. Laura is a happy mama to her first baby, Madeleine. She is the founder and owner of Blessed Bums Organic Diaper Service in Los Angeles where she lives with her family.

Photos used with permission of a Creative Commons license.

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Bellybuds Deluxe Package

Description:
Bellybuds® make an ideal pregnancy or baby shower gift. Play prenatal music or the recorded voices of loved ones to the womb using VoiceShareTM, our FREE voice recording platform at bellybuds dot com. Bellybuds are specialized, wearable speakers for expectant mothers that have been uniquely designed to conveniently and safely allow the playing of music and voices to a developing child in the womb. Bellybuds consist of two modular bellyphones that gently adhere to the varying curvature of a growing belly with skin-safe, form-fitting hydrogel adhesive rings. With its comfortable belt-less design that is all but invisible under clothing, expectant mothers may now bond with and share the pleasure of music and voices with their child in virtually any location. Bellybuds plug into any standard digital music player or sound device and are easily transportable. Now every mom-to-be can enjoy audio in utero on the go! For more information, links to research and special product offers visit “bellybuds” online. Included with your purchase of bellybuds: One pair of Bellybuds bellyphones® One pair of sound-dampening covers Four sets of hydrogel adhesive rings One audio splitter for simultaneous listening One carry pouch with belt clip

Features:

• Play music and voices to your baby in the womb
• Plugs into all common digital music players and computers, splitter included for simultaneous listening·
• Play voices to baby-to-be from dad or grandma!
• Great for adoptive/surrogacy couples!
• Helps turn a breech baby

Bellybuds Replacement Adhesives:

Description:
Each package includes: 4 PAIRS of Replacement Adhesives

Features:

• New Design! Less wasteful and more functional!
• The adhesive is made from a medical grade skin-safe hydrogel
• Play music and sound to your womb hands-free and on the go!
• Each pair may be used multiple times

FOLLOW:

Be sure to follow us on twitter @PregAwareness and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/PregnancyAwareness

Be sure to follow Belly Buds on Twitter @BellyBuds and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/bellybuds

ENTER TO WIN:

Enter on Twitter, Facebook and here on our website.

To enter on Twitter, click on the following link. If you share your entry with your friends you get a bonus entry for every entry through your shared link! http://wildfireapp.com/twitter/233/contests/169988
To enter on Facebook go to the following link and enter. You can also go to our facebook page and click http://apps.facebook.com/sweepstakeshq/contests/169988

You can also enter on our website by clicking on the orange bar along the bottom of the website.

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