By Anni Daulter- Author of Sacred Pregnancy

www.sacredpregnancy.com

What is a Sacred Pregnancy and why should I want one?

When I was pregnant with my second child, Lotus, I became obsessed with trying to find women I could connect with that knew about the sacredness of birth and the rite of passage process that every mother goes through, but few mark. My pregnancy craving was for that sisterhood that used to exist back in the day when women lived in tribes and pregnancy wisdom was passed down from mother to mother. Not being able to find what I was truly looking for, I realized something was missing in how we go through our pregnancies in this culture, and that sacred mother sisterhood had been buried, not lost, but buried deep in the past and needed to re-surge for all women. Our bodies create babies, and everyone agrees that is a miraculous wonder, but our spirits create souls and we need to know how to handle the process of creating a “whole” person. I truly believe the way to do this is by connecting to ourselves, the process of growing a baby and other wise women.

Pregnancy is a ride and we need to dig deep in order to navigate the emotional and physical waters of that journey. Its wild, scary, fun, joyous, beautiful, sexy, dirty, bloody and most of all it shapes us into mothers and re-defines how we look at the world.  Every woman DESERVES a Sacred Pregnancy, because it’s her birth-right and it’s our most sacred work that we will ever do. A Sacred Pregnancy is one that is honored and shaped with intention, purpose and celebration. We need to go back to the Kiva and sit with our women tribes and be held with their empowerment, get showered with adornment and learn more ways how to say “YES” to nurturing ourselves. We need to decorate our bellies and let it all hang out, honor our partners as they too travel the road with us, be brave and vulnerable, look into the eyes of our own childhoods so we may pick and choose what we want to take with us into our own mothering choices and most importantly we need to learn that this is a journey we share with others, but ultimately travel alone.

A Sacred Pregnancy is a gift you give yourself and your baby and one that is unique to every single pregnancy and birthing experience.  It’s where, if you let it happen, you become one of the wise women with a blessed sisterhood knowledge that one day you will give to maidens. Hold that power with a delicate hand and when the time is right you will know how to pass it on.

I am honored, humbled and just tickled pink that I have been given the opportunity to write Sacred Pregnancy and that folks are responding so well to it. I hope that each of you finds your way into the book, the website and the community. The Sacred Pregnancy movementhas so much planned and we hope that you are all there to share it with us.

We have just launched Sacred Pregnancy site, the book is ready for pre-order now, and is being released on May 1st, 2012 and coming soon is a never before done sacred hand-picked shop, a campaign called “if your showin’ you should be glowin’, magazine editions of Sacred Pregnancy and of course Sacred Pregnancy Pregnancy + Birthing Class Series. So stay tuned and enjoy the journey.

In gratitude,

Anni Daulter

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Baby on the way? Ready, Set… SLOW

A 3 Part Blog Series on the Pregnant Pause

by Stephanie Dawn, ASLP

When I first realized I was pregnant nine years ago, in my second trimester or so, I remember feeling fortunate that I was a self-employed counselor who worked out of my home and could take breaks and look after myself daily, without anyone watching over me. Recently, my sister gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl in New York City and worked full-time in an office up until 4 weeks just before the birth. I remember thinking “I don’t know how she is doing it, maintaining that pace, in that city, when she is 8 months pregnant?”

In our culture, slowing down in pregnancy doesn’t come naturally for women who work full-time in a hustling and bustling metropolis and truth be told, they may not even know how! Nor does our American work culture regard a pregnant mama as I do: worthy of reverence and in need of heaps of time off and TLC. The responsibility lies upon ourselves, then, to make our wellness a priority. In my work with expectant mamas, slowing down, caring for oneself, listening to the body, mind and spirit is a crucial daily, even moment to moment, practice. Not only is it important for the health of the Mama and her pregnancy, but it is also an opportunity for the Mama to tune into this new life that is within her, long before her baby is earth-side. I believe a conscious pregnancy leads to a conscious birth leads to a happier new Mama. What does a conscious pregnancy mean? Pregnancy and birth are some of the greatest rites of passage we as women get to experience in a lifetime and yet, if we walk through this time in an unconscious way, not tuning into the moment, or being mindful of our emotional, spiritual and mental journey, it will pass us by and the depth of awareness that is possible is missed.

I asked my friend and colleague Kelli, whom I would call a conscious Mama, about her energy levels in this, her third pregnancy. She spoke of needing 1-2 hours more sleep (she is now in her second trimester) and while she enjoys a brisk walk or practicing her vinyasa yoga, she said she equally needs to make dedicated time to rest. She says “Slowing down for me can’t necessarily mean less activity being the mother of 2 girls 6 and 4.  However, when I say slow down, I mean lessen my presence in the “rat race”.  I don’t want to be on Facebook as much anymore.”

When I asked Mama-to-be Jane, a high school teacher, how her rhythm of life had changed, she said “My rhythm of life would appear the same to an outsider but my focus has shifted dramatically. During this first trimester I am forced to slow down once I get home from work because I have very little left to do anything.  I also feel that there are other aspects to the slowing down that are more reflective. I’ve become acutely aware of how much stimulation I usually need (watching movies, reading, Facebooking, etc) and have been opting to spend less time with those and more time with quiet.  It feels good and it feels like an important way to prepare for the enormous changes that are about to come.”

Both Jane and Kelli are tuning in to that invisible cord that pulls us inward, that causes us to take note of the moment, to turn within and spend “more time with quiet.” To pause, to listen, and to give to ourselves in perhaps ways that we may never have before. As a mother of two, these pregnant pauses served me well in my pregnancies and births and acted as a primer to maintain the path of wellness and excellent self-care that I need, for myself, my work and my family. So go ahead, draw that bubble bath, take that walk and breathe deeply into the pause that refreshes!

Stephanie Dawn, ALSP is a Mother, Speaker, Educator and Spiritual Counselor supporting Mamas and Papas in the prenatal and postpartum period via prayer, counsel and Sacred Birth Coaching. She is the author of the Sacred Birth Workbook, Childbirth Preparation for the Heart, Mind and Spirit, which is now also available in Italian. Contact Stephanie for a complimentary consultation by going to www.stephaniedawn.com.

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No question about it, pregnancy and the first year post-partum are doozies on a lady’s mood. Even for those lucky folks who are generally happy, it’s pretty unlikely that anyone can make it through two years of sleep deprivation, hormone shifts, crazy body transformations, and, oh yeah, having and caring for a baby without a few leaky faucet days.

Here is how you can handle these days in a way that strengthens yourself and your marriage.

1) When the faucet is leaky, fix it!   Instead of dismissing the tears or mood swings as “just part of the deal,” communicate with your spouse and see if the two of you can figure out why the faucet is leaking NOW as opposed to yesterday. After talking Andrea she realized that her tears really surged when she thought about their daycare plan.  They had planned to hire a nanny and she didn’t like any of the 20 people she’d interviewed.  As soon as she listened to what was causing the leak, she and her husband broadened the search to include day care centers.  She found one she loved, and, voilá, the faucet stopped leaking. Remember, while your tears may be exaggerated by the hormones, that doesn’t mean they don’t have a legitimate cause.

2)Sleep, eat and be active.  Even just a night or two of solid sleep coupled with healthy food and activity can work wonders. Plan ahead to figure out how, whenever it’s needed, you can be off baby duty for a full 6 to 8 hours to just sleep. Pick out a few super healthy meals and prepare shopping lists and instructions so that your husband or friend can get you a meal that’s truly good for you. Lastly, figure out how to get moving – in a pool if you’re as big as a beached whale, outside with baby, or even just bopping in the living room to your favorite music.  Yoga and meditation are other good ways of calming your mind and rejuvenating your body.

3) When all else fails, call the plumber.  How long would you wait between having a leak that won’t stop and actually calling a plumber? Probably not much more than a week. No matter what anyone says, it is not healthy or normal to feel blue, pre- or post-baby, for more than a week or so.  If this is happening talk to your OB, visit a therapist (and I’d highly recommend going as a couple at least to your first visit) or try an alternative medical professional (acupuncture,homeopathy, energy field therapist). Keep looking for help until you find an expert who helps you to stop the leak.

Abigail Hirsch, PhD is Resident Psychologist for Power of Two Marriage Online.

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That got us through that night, but the longer term solution involved researching and reading about humidifiers, vaporizers, nostril aspirators, saline drops, homeopathy, dietary changes, you name it!  Over the counter decongestants: there is a lot of debate out there about when they are effective, the FDA says not to use under the age of 4.  Dr. Alan Greene identifies potential side effects: sleeplessness, drowsiness, irritability, increased blood pressure.  We recommend speaking with your pediatrician or medical provider BEFORE purchasing any OTC.  And if you have an infant with a fever of any type, contact your medical provider and discuss.  Pretty much all the research agrees: moisture or humidity can soothe the symptoms of colds and stuffy noses.

Our first purchase was a vaporizer, and it worked great, except: 

• incredibly difficult to clean
• the room required airing out afterwards; it produced a lot of moisture.
• mist created by boiling water, the unit itself becomes hot, so if you have a toddler that is crawling = burn risk.
• you can add essential oils into the machine (mine required to add salt).

We moved onto humidifiers a more sophisticated machine, yet also puts moisture in the air without boiling water.  Some have a cool mist or a hot mist option.  Moisture is moisture, and the temperature doesn’t matter.  Don’t add any substance to this type of machine, just plain water.

FAQ: 

• Sitting water can breed bacteria.
• Change the water. (Modern humidifiers like Crane’s, have smaller tanks that don’t allow water to store for more than 2 days. They also have auto shut-off in the event the water runs too low for the motor, not something my vaporizer had, and I admit to burning out more than one motor!)
• Don’t forget to change the basin! (There is a basin under the tank where water collects.  Change at the same time you change the water tank.  It requires that you unplug the machine, but do it, bacteria may cause other illnesses, and the whole point of using a moisture adding machine is to reduce illness and symptoms!)

As Katie Sotor of Crane-USA says, “It’s still water folks!  So regardless of the machine, or if it has the anti-microbial protection, change the water every 2 days.”  She also recommends disinfecting it every 7 days with a tank full of water and 2-3 caps of vinegar, don’t turn it on, just let it sit for a good 30 minutes.

Using moisture in the air while you sleep is a great non-medical option for infants, young children, and adults.  So if you are pregnant or nursing and want to reduce the symptoms of a cold or reduce the potential of getting one, consider it.  And saline drops in the nose whether stuffy or as a preventive can be very helpful.

Alisa Donner, MSW, LCSW, Co-Founder, Pregnancy Awareness Month®

This is not meant as medical advice – consult with your medical provider as needed.

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These days simple tasks like that can be challenging. My son still wants to be in my arms all the time and my daughter needs me for homework and projects. Obviously I value the time with my children, they need me and one day they won’t, well not in quite the same way but taking a moment to have to oneself is not a luxury, it is a necessity. And I just don’t mean a late night bath, where one collapses in the lukewarm water that has been waiting for you all night. I mean, focused time alone. It may be scheduled or it may “occur” organically but it must be cultivated and re-occurring.

When a woman is pregnant (with her first child anyway) cultivating time alone, a time of reflection happens so easily. You are bonding inwardly with your child, you are musing on your future as a mother…and then baby comes and everything is so external, so right in front of you. Ladies, the seasons are changing, our children are growing and life goes on. But please take this time to notice the sounds around you, acknowledge the things you have done and take a deep breath, better yet take a few.

Anna Getty, Founder, Pregnancy Awareness Month, author, Holistic Life Expert, and mother of 2 adorable children!

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That was in 2002, and I eventually moved back to San Diego where I was able to shadow a homebirth midwife, as well as become a volunteer through UCSD’s Hearts and Hands Program.

I then moved into a new area of health care: Respiratory Therapy. Upon obtaining my credential and graduating In 2007 I was hired at a hospital that specialized in labor and delivery. At the time a seemingly annoying paperwork delay with my State License brought the inspiration of my lifetime. While I waited, I had the chance to assist a homebirth with a midwife named Jamin Sylvada.

I was on a natural high for days after that homebirth. That same week, I called Dr. Robert Biter , a friend who was a local OB/GYN, explained my situation and shared with him that I was not going back to respiratory therapy once I received my license; my passion now was assisting with births. He knew my health care background and experience, and started referring couples to me that same year.

My first birth with Dr. Biter would forever change the way I would look at the birthing process. When the first mom he sent my way went into labor, it was a magical birth, nothing like I had ever seen in a hospital setting.

I would continue to see special births with this same doctor for years to follow. That first birth became the standard for how I wished to see all moms experience a birth. I realized that I could help more moms as a doula, by educating and supporting them through their deliveries, than I would by staying as a respiratory therapist in a NICU.

I created my doula practice, Birth Day with Val.  The name of my business sums up what I do. Midwives inspire me to be the best doula I can be. The incredible learning experiences from Dr. Biter’s births have allowed me to help create positive births for many women.

Out of Birth Day with Val, came a passion for helping moms to recover with love and support in the postpartum period. I would listen to my clients tell me that they were still feeling really sore, and that what the hospitals gave them for the recovery from episiotomies, swelling and tearing was not helping…

I created Birth Day Postpartum Recovery Spray for moms after their delivery.  This spray helps with everything from minor swelling to significant tearing post-delivery. Even moms who encounter a caesarian birth can benefit from the recovery properties of this spray on the incision area.

This 100% natural blend includes the following ingredients: helichrysum, lavender, chamomile, yarrow, calendula and aloe. The healing properties of these particular essential oils promote tissue repair and ease the pain of perineal tearing, episiotomies and swelling.

Birth work is joyous work for me.  I believe healthy families begin with healthy births.  As a doula, I am an integral part of promoting the best birth experience that I can.  Through educating, supporting, and giving postpartum care with families, I am able to meet this intention.

Valerie M. Peterson, BA, LEC, Labor & Delivery Doula, and Founder of Birth Day with Val

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We went together into the bedroom and she watched me massage my daughter, and gave me tips.  Even as small as she was, my daughter reacted to the massage in such a positive way.  And it encouraged me to feel confident.  I was still so new at holding her outside of my body, and actually had been a bit shocked at how awkward I was at times in changing her clothes or diaper, or in holding her to breastfeed.  By touching her and using my hands with this pure, calendula oil, I was connecting to both her and myself in a different way.  It was magical.

Believe it or not, that was my introduction to Weleda, and Anna and I continue to use their products today.  Here’s our favs:

• Women’s facial cleanser
• Pomegranate Face Cream
• Deodorant sprays
• Childrens Tooth Gel
• Calendula Diaper Cream
• Calendula Shampoo & Body Wash
• Pregnancy Body Oil

Have you heard about the healing aspects of Calendula, which is also called marigold?  As a homeopathic, it is typically used for cut, scrapes, and bug bites.

Weleda has been a forerunner, celebrating their 90^th anniversary this year, in harvesting practices that are respectful to the earth and protective of our natural resources through biodynamic farming.  They harvest all of the calendula by hand, and only use organic chamomile, read more.

In August they are partnering with Pregnancy Awareness Month®.  We will have a weekly giveaway later this month as well as a Twitter Party focusing on their amazing Baby Care line of Calendula formulated products. “Weleda Calendula Baby Care helps care for a baby’s delicate skin with the best ingredients from nature. We use Biodynamic calendula extract from flowers that are grown each summer in our very own gardens in Germany.” Pato Pol, a Weleda Aesthetician, Doula, and Baby Massage expert.

If you are learning about Weleda for the first time or getting reacquainted with them, Anna and I encourage you to go to their website and learn more about their practices and mission.  There is a tutorial on bathing and massaging a newborn, linked earlier in this blog.  They also have a community page with tips, the current incentive is for you to add a tip to their page for a $2 coupon.

Alisa Donner, MSW, LCSW

Co-founder of Pregnancy Awareness Month®

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By: Ana Paula Markel ICCE, CD (DONA)

Certified Doula, Certified Childbirth Educator, DONA Approved Birth Doula Trainer

Owner, Bini Birth

The word doula has gained incredible popularity in the past decade. The joke in big cities is not if you have a doula but WHO is your doula. Women have become familiar and embraced the idea that a loving, informed and positive presence during the transition into motherhood can be the single best decision about their care.

We are now embracing and exploring the role of the Postpartum Doula.

According to DONA International and from their website, a Postpartum Doula:

• Offers education, companionship and  nonjudgmental support during the postpartum fourth trimester
• Assists with newborn care, family adjustment,  meal preparation and light household tidying
• Offers evidence-based information on infant  feeding, emotional and physical recovery from birth, infant soothing and coping skills for new parents, and makes appropriate referrals when necessary

A postpartum doula certified by DONA International is designated by the initials PCD(DONA).

Translating this definition into a day in a new mother’s life, it is almost comparing darkness to light. A new mother is often tired from the birth experience; experiencing a physiological hormonal drop, and recognizing that nothing could really prepare someone for the role as a mother. She may have breastfeeding questions and infant sleep/wake cycle questions.  Much support is needed during the early post partum days.

Sleep deprivation combined with the seemly relentless needs of the newborn.  And how about the partner? Partners can be just as lost or even on a different pace than the mother.

Enter the role of the postpartum doula.  Through gentle listening, validation and expertise she brings confidence to the new parents.

The birth doula supports and informs about the birth process but at the end of the day, the mother will be the one to birth the baby, either vaginally or by a cesarean birth.

The postpartum doula does the same, her role is to encourage and support the parents in parenting their own babies. The postpartum doula does not take over the care of the baby for the mother, but gently guides mom through her questions and insecurities. The postpartum doula will also remind the mother of all the things she is doing well, celebrating each milestone with the family in the early days.

If we nurture the mother, she can nurture her baby. It sounds simple but in real life may not be. People come to visit and the mother may catch herself entertaining, thinking about food for the guests or being polite and making small talks when all she wants is to rest. New mothers need to have their feet up, to be fed, heard, validated and honored in order to provide for their infant. The postpartum doula’s role is to care for the mother (and her partner) along with the infant. It is not divided or separated, it is a big picture; a family approach.

At this point you may be sold on the idea, but probably asking how much such service will cost. No, it is not a cheap service, but we can look at it as an investment. You are preventing postpartum depression, therefore saving on therapy sessions and possible medication. You are preventing breastfeeding complications, therefore saving on formula and the paraphernalia that comes with bottle feeding. You are enhancing communication among partners, therefore saving in couple’s therapy. These are just a few of the financial benefits of hiring a postpartum doula. And what is the price for love, peace of mind, security, confidence and a healthy relationship among new parents?

People spend so much money on fancy strollers, diaper bags, baby luxury clothing, and many other items that are fun. How can we help society value the aid of a doula dedicated to post partum service for the infant and family in the first 1 or 2 weeks post birth just as much?

A postpartum doula costs anywhere from 20 to 50 dollars/hour. It depends on the city, if it is day or night shifts, or one baby or multiples. Doulas are hired for some hours daily or nightly and/or for 24 hours care. Doulas can be hired for either short or longer term. You can also negotiate the fee with the doula based on the period you want to contract with her. Some doulas work on sliding scales.

Here are some ideas in case you feel you can’t afford a doula:

• Think about hiring a newly trained doula who will charge a lot less than an experienced doula. These doulas often have mentorship from their trainers, and more experienced doulas.

• Create a doula fund for your baby shower.

• Suggest it as a gift from grandparents, and close relatives.

• Suggest a payment plan to the doula.

In the end, it is the mother, partner and baby who will benefit from this service. A safe, confident beginning of life is a precious and lasting investment in the relationship with our children and each other.

Peace begins in the womb, birth and early parenting.

To find a PP doula near you, www.dona.org and in the Los Angeles area www.binibirth.com. 

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Visioning Your Sacred Birth

I’ve often said that we do a wonderful job in America of preparing a woman and her mate with all that she needs to know about the physical aspect of birth, but very little about the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of birth. As a result, when the first labor pang comes, women are ill prepared for the power that is surging in, through and as them and have no idea how to manage it. The same goes for their mates. While we may say we are ‘ready’ for the baby, are we really? In every way possible?

As I mentioned previously, fear runs rampant throughout a woman’s pregnancy and, indeed, our culture, and so much of the inner preparation for a woman relates to transmuting this fear and embracing one’s own feminine power, which then creates confidence to do what we were born to do and do it well, to the best of our ability.

What more can a woman and her mate do to create confidence, beyond the gathering and reading of solid information? One of the processes I do with my clients to great success, is called Visioning. Visioning is a process whereby we go into a meditative state, quieting the mind via prayer and then I ask a succession of questions that relate to the purpose of the visioning, which in this case I would call an Ideal or Perfect Birth Visioning. Sometimes I call this ‘downloading’ the future, connecting to and creating a vision for, a probable reality that is one’s resonant ideal.

Becoming comfortable with images of birth, in general, is a positive step to create confidence. In bygone times, we were much more involved in our family’s and community’s births, taking part in them and witnessing them regularly. These days, one of the best ways to learn more about birth is by watching birth videos on Youtube. It is important to watch videos that feed your ideal vision and not it’s opposite. While it’s good to read all kinds of birth stories, in my opinion, it’s best to watch videos that are harmonious with your desires and intentions. The first video I ever watched was an undisturbed, deeply meditative water birth that a doula friend loaned to me of a birth she attended in Venezuela. This left an indelible mental image for me in terms of what is possible for a woman in labor.

Finally, I cannot emphasize highly enough the importance of hiring a doula. Doulas attended both of my births at home and in the hospital and to this day I refer to my doulas as my ‘birth angels’. Their ability to connect with me, hold my hand, make eye contact, remind me of my own power and my own intentions in the midst of the intensity of birth was deeply empowering and ultimately unforgettable. I cannot imagine my births without them. Learn more about hiring a doula at www.dona.org and www.doulamatch.net

If you would like to learn more tips about how you can create your sacred birth, you may wish to check out the Sacred Birth Workbook which was written with you in mind. Over the years of teaching the Sacred Birth Workshop in Los Angeles and New York, I compiled this workbook in an effort to share, in one place, what I was repeatedly offering year after year. It is a compendium of spiritual processes, exercises and information that will support you in creating your sacred birth. Learn more at www.stephaniedawn.com/ebook.htm.

Stephanie Dawn, ALSP is a licensed spiritual counselor and Sacred Birth Coach. She is the founder of Sacred Birth Work ~ Childbirth Preparation for the Heart, Mind and Spirit. Contact Stephanie for a complimentary consultation by emailing sacredbirth@me.com or go to www.stephaniedawn.com.

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 Desiree Miller

Parenting is hard.  OK, it’s harder than hard. It can be incredibly difficult at times.  As the parent to 16, 13, 12 and 5 year olds right now, I question exactly how I’m doing and whether I have failed my children somewhere along the way.  I’m not the perfect parent by any stretch.  And after reading “The Go-To Mom’s Parents’ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children”, by Kimberley Clayton Blaine, I realize I have some serious catching up to do. 

Not sure what emotion coaching is?  I wasn’t either.  In her book, this licensed therapist explains that emotion coaching is basically about teaching your child how to recognize and express various feelings appropriately.  In emotion coaching you coach your child to understand and communicate feelings.  It’s a way of life really, and it allows your child to grow up more resilient and socially adept.  It requires you to know and respect your child, understanding that if you have more than one that each will be different.  It means you should avoid denying, discounting or minimizing their feelings.  It means giving them power to make good choices without relying on manipulation. 

Still not clear?  The book explains your relationship with your child requires you to re-evaluate all the old parenting styles of the past.  Time-outs, reward systems, the standard go-to solutions of the past may not be as effective as you once believed.  Instead, allow your children to express themselves emotionally without suppressing or denying those emotions.  It’s the foundation for a strong relationship and a hefty dose of self confidence in your children that will help guide them through life. 

The book outlines real life scenarios with your child and guides you through how to handle them.   It’s more than a “how-to”, though.  It explains the logic behind the advice and puts into perspective some of the parenting problems you may have faced in the past.  It reminds you your child’s behavior is half the issue…how you react is the other half. 

I regret not having read this book sooner.  Even with 16 years of experience, I have so much to learn about positive parenting and helping to give my children their best start to life possible.

Want to know more?  Click here for information on the chapter about Baby Discipline.

Click here to buy a copy of the book.

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