Image by Ingrid Franz Moriarty
OK so you are pregnant for the first time, or you are in the throes of postpartum bliss and sleep deprivation. Perhaps you are parenting three kids under the age of 5. Mom’s, that’s what you are. Whether the bun is still in the oven or not! The transition to and then the maintenance of motherhood can be a challenging journey. It begs the question, what motivates us to be moms? And how do we maintain that motivation?
The classic answer of course is basic human instinct and the natural hormonal quest to continue our species thru procreation. Yadda, yadda, yadda. OK, so we get pregnant, we have a baby or three, the motivation for how we get here isn’t rocket science. How do we maintain our motivation to be mom’s? Not just the job title. I’m talking about the career of being a conscious, fully present, compassionate parent, teacher, and eventual life-long (at least your life) friend/confident? You know, after the cuteness wears off? After their response to you more often than not is “no.” After you return to work and realize that the balance of mother/career/homemaker/wife/lover is NOTHING that Gloria Steinem and her posse ever dreamed about. After you get see the tuition fee schedule for that amazing preschool. After the dust settles, and the exhaustion sets in, moments of feeling overwhelmed, questions or situations that are totally beyond your scope of prior practice or knowledge…What then?
OK, that is a bit on the bleak side. Of course it isn’t all wine and roses, but it isn’t all OMG moments either. There is plenty of fun times, overflowing heartfelt times together and the overarching feeling of family that is just so damn fantastic that words can’t describe. Right? Yeah that’s what I’m talking about. I believe that those amazing heart moments, where you are touched to your core, are the times where the motivation to be the most connected and attentive mom/human can be tapped into. Are you aware of those times in your life as a mom? As a mom-to-be? Are you taking a second to fully feel your life, if not continuously, at least a few times each day? This is what is currently called mindfulness. I believe it is a practice that if not consciously focused on, will not occur. We can find ourselves hours, days, months, even years down the road of our lives wondering where the time went. Its from being busy and from multitasking as a lifestyle not a coping mechanism. Multitasking is an amazing thing, and should be used in short intervals. It is not something to be maintained as a constant. When you do that, you miss your life that is happening. And the lives that you are sharing, for a short time in your home, you miss the full impact of those too.
How will you practice finding the times to tap into the already existing motivating moments in your life as a mom? That is your answer to find and locate within yourself. All of us do it differently:
- start each morning with a cup of tea alone and breathe and enjoy some stillness before the house wakes
- daily meditation or prayer
- evening gratitude moments
- family meal
- alarm on your smart device that is set for 3 times each day for you to stop and smell the roses in your life, for 25 seconds
- exercise program that you can realistically do
- personal mantra that basically tells you to: slow down you are moving too fast, let this moment last…
- taking time to read a blog or inspirational book passage that helps you to ground and feel connected as a mom
- reaching out to resources on parenting questions all along the developmentally continuum of your child (yes, they continue to grow and have changing needs and your parenting knowledge will constantly need to expand into it)
A dear friend of Pregnancy Awareness Month and one of our original advisers, Lisa Druxman, has a new podcast program that is about motivating mom’s and supporting women during the aha and oh no moments of parenting. It is awesome and I highly recommend it.
What do you get motivated by to be a fully present mom? How do you stay motivated? Please share with us and all the mom’s reading this.
Alisa B. Donner, MSW, LCSWCo-Founder of Pregnancy Awareness Month, and Mom to an Amazing Wonder
Thanks to Ingrid Franz Moriarty for the amazing image on this blog post!
**REMINDER – Pregnancy Awareness Month’s blog post is for moms and expectant parents by moms (and of course some experts sprinkled in – and some mom’s are licensed board certified experts!). HOWEVER, we are not giving blanket ADVICE on what you should be doing, eating, how you should be exercising, parenting, etc. These are opinions, food for thought….think about it all, talk with your mate, and when it comes to diet, exercise, and health questions, ALWAYS discuss and seek advice from your medical health provider.
Alisa B. Donner, Fit4Mom, Ingrid Franz Moriarty, Lisa Druxman, mindfulness, moms, moms-to-be, motivation, multitasking, Parenting, postpartum, Pregnancy